mother's advice

Last night there was a story of a guy who has a twitter account, "shit my dad says". I had to laugh to myself, I could have "shit my mother says" she has come up with some of the most bizarre words of wisdom and advice. One of her most infamous words of advice to me one day awhile back was to "watch out for birds, they'll poop in your eyes and you will go blind" Whhhaaat? Who'd of thought birds were so conniving?Is that what they are discussing up there on the electric lines? That and how they're going to poop all over your car.I wonder if this is the reason along with ants, flys, mosquitoes, spiders,snakes and other assorted things that she has an aversion to going outside? Is she a bit nuts? Yes she is...thats my life,RJW